What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

A kid threw a stone at my car. I confronted his mom (who was nearby). She said, "You can't prove it was my son." How should I have reacted?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

What makes Nigerian scammers skilled at impersonating people? Is their success a result of intelligence or other factors?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

TEXT:

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What are the best mattress options for a comfortable night's sleep in Pompano Beach?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why did my ex-narcissist move so fast with his new supply marriage engagement moving in, etc.?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

How can a hacker damage me, realistically?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

What's your favorite stupid joke?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What was your wildest experience as a lesbian?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Make Nazis afraid again!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Did you ever receive genuine remarks from a medium regarding your deceased relative with information that the medium could never normally know?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.